‘Free’ Contraception, Government Mandated: It’s in the Constitution!

‘Free’ Contraception, Government Mandated: It’s in the Constitution!

Political humorist Frank J. Fleming has a highly amusing piece in the New York Post lampooning the media’s dangerously distorted misunderstanding of the Constitution and of our Bill of Rights  (h/t: Nathan Wurtzel).

A very timely piece this — especially during these perilous times, when the “extreme right wing” is trying — despicably! — to stop the feds from mandating that health insurers provide “free” contraception to privileged and affluent law students such as Sandra Fluke.

…The Bill of Rights looks like it was written by a crazed, right-wing militia member living in an isolated compound. It’s all “Government can’t tell me to do this” and “Government can’t make me do that” and “I want to have guns.”

We need to update this silly, archaic Bill of Rights, which puts all this emphasis on “freedom” with no mention of the much more important “free stuff.” If we don’t act, other countries will make fun of us for it — and who wants to be tittered at by Belgium?

We want a strong government that guarantees us all the things we need, and we should have a new Bill of Rights that reflects that.

I propose that we have a meeting of all the great minds (college professors, A-list Hollywood actors, people who watch “Downton Abbey”) to list everything people need — basics like food, transportation, and smart phones.

The first section — the “free stuff” section — of the new Bill of Rights will guarantee that everyone gets all these essentials. After that can come the “freedom” section of less useful rights that don’t actually give you anything, like freedom of speech (but let’s leave out the one about guns — they’re dangerous; people will shoot their eyes out).

And the brain trust will make it clear that if the “freedom” section ever conflicts with the “free stuff” part, then “free stuff” wins out.

Of course, Karl Marx put it far more eloquently and far more succinctly: “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.”

That’s not in the Constitution — yet. But in time, as we “progress” and become a more “modern” society, I’m sure we’ll get there. Why, thanks to media misinformation and public school miseducation, 42 percent of us believe Marx’s dictum is already part of the Constitution!

Cross-posted at ResCon1.

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