Promoted by Steven-
A Parody
On the 36th anniversary of Saul Alinsky's death, the book he secretly wrote will finally see the light of day. Saul Alinsky, the King Firebrand of Radical Change from the mid-20th century, did indeed write his most personal thoughts for the world to read, but the executors of his peaceful Carmel, California estate have kept the pied piper of gloom's memoirs hidden from prying eyes since his untimely death. Aware that the memoir would upset Alinsky's most avid followers, Biff Dolittle, the nephew of Alinsky and head of Alinsky Corp. Intl., accidentally leaked word of the mysterious tome to a longtime NAMBLA playmate, Jimmy-Jimmy, who in turn coaxed the book into view and stole it. Ending up at the New York Times office, Jimmy-Jimmy sold the manuscript to the Gray Lady for three hundred dollars and a pair of size 12 Manolo Blahnik pumps. But the autobiographical bombshell wasn't about to go public just yet; The Times sent Alinsky's memoir back to Dolittle with a note simply stating, "Take better care of this -- it's worth a lot of money to the wrong kind of people." And that was all it took for Biff to start shopping the book to the highest bidder. Who paid top dollar is still unknown, but ReganBook's will publish the life story titled, I Can't Believe They Believe, and it will hit the shelves and Internet next month.
Today's press release from the publisher outlines the inward reflections of the author and what made a man so intent on radicalizing others with what Alinsky called the three C's - conflict, corruption, and [dis]content (many say Saul wasn't a very good speller due to his overactive right brain learning, but his love of ethnomathematics and finger counting always ensured his arithmetic was correct up to the number twenty) - eventually end up moving from crazy Chicago to a hidden mansion in tranquil Carmel by the sea. Did he also want to get away from the rebellious fray? It appears that this is the book that will not only shed light on the often hypocritical rants of Alinsky, but also on, as he puts it, "How we fooled several generations into Believin' what we were Sellin'." The dropped "g" was a favorite personal expression of Mr. Alinsky with his close friends and family while he deplored its use in front of his academic apostles.
As well, the memoir evidently offers tips on "Deprogramming the Silly Radical" and "How to make a fortune by earning it instead of taking it." The latter is what lead Alinsky and his self named corporation to secretly become one of America's leading importers of Asian sex toys. In reality, Saul Alinsky hated socialism with a passion but believed it was easily sold to easily transfixed ne'er-do-wells who loved feeling better about themselves by feeling superior to others. Alinsky refers to Radical Socialism in his book as "Capitalism for Dummies" (a phrase way ahead of its time) with the following scolding:
"If you want to be miserable in life, become a radical socialist. A socialist isn't much different from a capitalist, they're both obsessed with money, but the capitalist learns to earn it while the socialist fights to extort it. The new socialist revolution is really just capitalism for dummies: they don't have to know how to make business work, they just have to usurp power over it and then blame it on the executives when the business inevitably fails; they take other peoples' money and become worshiped for spending it; they raise taxes on the wealthy by calling them names and never thank them for their already great contributions, and they won't cut a tax in fear of never getting it back, considering it money lost."
Mr. Alinsky touchingly ends his definitive narrative by asking for forgiveness from his "disillusioned" disciples who so faithfully followed his mantra of radical CHANGE though the years, and he hoped they would come to believe that true change starts with the truth.
He writes, "There should be no more angry rules of hate and divisiveness, no more community organizing by manipulating the less fortunate with devious and disruptive methods, and no more lying about your true motives. Rules for Radicals was meant to be a joke. I didn't think anyone would take it seriously, for God's sake, I started it with a quote about Lucifer, and the whole damn thing is a sendup on Reveille [Alinsky's '46 book - Reveille for Radicals]--I thought it was sufficiently over the top to where I didn't need to spell it out. But it's been selling like hotcakes since its release last year ['71] and the kids are believing it's real. I worry that one day some megalomaniacal misfits will misuse it for personal profit and power; it should be buried away forever.........We all just said some stupid things back in the day -- we were young and foolish and trying to impress the ladies, but then the whole rebellious thing got out of control and I couldn't stop it. By 1968 it had all gone too far, and the real radical ones were on a slippery slope, moving from far left, to socialist, to communist, to the ultimate fascist. We had a big meeting in downtown Chicago where I suggested we should all just Move On, but local organizers were raking in the money by then and no one was going to take away their gravy train. So I loaded up the truck, actually it was a Fiat, and got the hell out of there. I went to California to write Rules but it's causing nothing but trouble - so now I'm writing this, my memoir. I guess I've learned to appreciate some of the good things in life and turned into a glass is half-full kinda guy; I hope all my readers, for their sake, will do the same."
I had to read it twice to be sure it was satire.
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1.20.2013 Independence Day