In which I likely speak my last with regard to the 2008 Presidential Campaign

Life, as we all know, is about choices - and the choice to get involved in politics is one where there are, as we also all know, opportunities for both euphoric highs and unthinkable lows. For conservatives deep behind enemy lines, we know all too well about those lows and really not all that much about those highs. In fact, the last true “high” in politics I can recall feeling was on the evening of November 5, 2002 – when I heard on the radio that Massachusetts State Treasurer Shannon O’Brien had conceded the Governor’s race to Mitt Romney.

Man, that was some good stuff.

But there were plenty of Mariana-like troughs before and after that on my political journey through last evening, so I believe I speak from some pretty harsh personal experiences when I write what I’m about to write.

In honor of the man who now seems highly unlikely to carry our party’s banner into 2008, let me be up front and toss-out the net-net: I will not be voting for John McCain on November 4, 2008 for President of the United States. I will, instead, write-in the name of W. Mitt Romney of Belmont, MA for that office.

For what it’s worth, I long-ago made the decision to not support with my time, talent or treasure the seemingly inevitable (since New Hampshire, at least) candidacy of McCain, but had resigned myself to the notion that I would, for the 5th Presidential election in a row, hold my nose and fill-in the appropriate oval on my ballot.

Then came last Thursday – when John McCain, a man who has self-righteously cloaked himself in the Mr. Straight Talk banner his entire career – launched one of the most despicable lies I’ve heard come from a serious candidate for office in quite a while. Here’s a hint, Senator DoubleTalk – when Jeff Toobin of the Clinton News Network is calling-out the MSM’s and every Democrats’ (but I repeat myself) favorite Republican as a liar - you, my friend, have rammed the Straight Talk Express™ into a bridge abutment, and no amount of soft-balling from Timmy Russert is going to hide that.

Thus Senator, you have confirmed everything I ever thought about you. That far from being the righteous “Straight Talker”, you are more than happy to say anything – absolutely anything – in order to get elected, just like everyone else. Be it this slander of Romney’s position on Iraq or your “income maintenance” program for laid-off auto-workers that would have made FDR proud, you are more than happy to toss principle under your own tour bus if you think it will garner you a few votes. You have a whole lot of nerve holding yourself out as some-sort of honorable player in this comedy-turned-farce, Senator – yet, as benefactor of your status as the subject of raging MSM-Man-Love, you’re sure to get away with it… until about late-September, of course, when the MSM have to choose between their favorite Republican and the people (that being Democrats) they actually intend to vote for, that is.

You’ve also proved that you are more than happy to attack, viciously, those nominally on your side, or those who have the audacity to run to your right in a campaign, in a way that you would never attack a Democrat. You have never, ever deliberately misrepresented a Democrat’s position on any subject the way you’ve lied about Romney’s position on Iraq. And you have never, ever demanded an apology of those who actually have, unlike Romney, called for abject surrender in Iraq.

That I now have to endure reading of your minion tossing-out (a la Pastor Huckabee, appropriately) John Edwards’ Talking Points™ the morning after your Big Win is merely the Coupe de Gras. That’s just swell, Senator – certainly another Tax Cuts for the Rich moment is soon to be in the offering?

So no, Senator – you will not get my G*dd*amned vote any more than I expect you to build any G*dd*amned fence. I will write-in Romney, the man you slandered, and be happy about it, on November 4th.

But fret not, there are plenty of liberals, Democrats and so-called “independents” – you know, the people you’ve been relying-on to win Republican primaries up to know – here in the People’s Republic who will probably throw-in with you should The Wicked Witch of Westchester get the Democrat Party nod. Not so much if it’s Obama!™ though, I’m not really sorry to say. Good luck with that.

And now briefly, in an attempt to answer some of the arguments that I suspect are coming:

1) But Romney lied about Amnesty!™ First – he didn’t. Look folks, you can call letting illegals stay after paying a parking ticket and putting them on the fast track to voting in Democrat primaries whatever the hell you want – it’s amnesty. Second – wow, so “Straight Talk” has devolved into “Mommy! Mommy! Willard hit me first!!!” Color me unimpressed. Third – so Romney calling McCain-Kennedy an “Amnesty” bill is the equivalent of McCain making-something up about Romney’s position on Iraq and how it compares with that of Hillary Clinton? Sheesh.

2) But you’re just electing Hillary! Sorry folks, no dice here. The Republic survived Bill; it will survive Hillary if it must. Perhaps it’s that I’ve spent too long behind enemy lines and liberals just don’t scare me anymore. They are, in fact, a rather constant source of entertainment for me. Maybe it’s that I see the elevation of the John McCain – a man who has gone out of his way to gleefully jam his middle-finger in the eyes of conservatives and republicans since he elevated himself from unheralded back-bencher status around 1993 – as the standard-bearer of the GOP as, well, the middle-of-the-end of the GOP and I’d prefer not hasten that demise any further by putting him within spitting distance of the Big Red Button™ if I can avoid it. Whatever it is, that argument is just not doing it with me in this case. No sale, Sailor.

3) But really, it’s The Troops who will be hurt! Piss-off with that insulting line of argument. It’s not my fault that the GOP has chosen to nominate someone for whom I cannot vote and it’s similarly not my fault that the once-proud Democrat Party of the United States has long-ago ceded any right to be taken seriously on any subject remotely related to foreign policy. Stop using live soldiers in the same manner that Anti-War Democrats™ use dead ones.

4) But you’re only bitter because your guy lost. First, I’m long past bitter. I’m actually relieved that I will not be donating nearly as much as my money and time as I would otherwise be inclined between now and November. Second, I have signed no contracts regarding my participation in the Republican Party Primary Process and any and all future voting; don’t hold me to a contract I’ve never signed. And finally, I would have happily supported Fred, would have voted for Rudy, and could probably have been enticed into tossing a vote to Huck under extreme social pressure. But Johnny Mac is simply a bridge too far, folks. Apesadumbrado, no más. (Just getting in practice for what our future has in store.)

5) But, but, but – McCain is going to reach out to conservatives and unite the party now!

OK, this one deserves its own paragraph or three. So let me understand this – Mitt Romney, a man with a decidedly spotty past record, has gone out of his way to earnestly appeal to and represent conservative voters and those voters who actually identify themselves as Republicans over the last year or so. You can certainly question his methods, his style, and how he’s gone about it (I know I do) – but I don’t think you can argue that he’s failed to put-in the effort. With me so far? Good. And what has he gotten for all that effort? Well, would scorn and ridicule be too much? Flip-Flopper! Astroturfer! You get the idea.

Now, along comes John McCain – a man rightly nicknamed McPain on more than one occasion, a man who has done precisely nothing to this point to court conservatives and who has, it seems, gone out of his way to say, “Screw you all – I’m going to win Republican primaries with squishes and RiNOs – try and stop me!” What you’re seriously telling me he is now going to try and court conservatives? Seriously, that’s your argument?

So, here’s what I say to that – firstly, why? I mean, it’s not like he has to think he needs conservatives to win – and we all know he seems pretty allergic to political introspection – so what in the name of all that is Good makes you think he’s gonna start now?

And even if he does? Well, let me put it this way: so my abusive spouse climbs into bed and I’m supposed to roll-over and hand him the keys to the kingdom because, after smacking me around all day, he whispered a sweet nothing or two in my ear? And am I to seriously believe that those among you who have questioned – heck, flat-out denied – Mitt Romney’s overtures to conservatives are going to now, all of a sudden, believe a man who has just demonstrated he is willing, just like everyone else, to say anything to be elected?

Words like “ludicrous” and “absurd” spring to mind, but hey, I’m only the keeper of my own franchise in these matters.

OK, enough about McCain – please allow me to shift gears a bit.

To the many McCainiacs out there: Look folks, some of you have known me from this forum and others for a couple of years now – I’ve come to respect and even like a fair number of you. But we just flat-out disagree on this one. I don’t begrudge you your decision to support our Party’s nominee for President and I hope you will not hold mine against me. I think you’re wrong, you almost certainly think I’m wrong – let’s just do our best to leave it at that.

But out of respect for you guys if not for your “guy”, I do intend fully to henceforth live by the statement I made in the subject to this post. I do not intend to speak directly (or even tangentially, if I can avoid it) about the Presidential race from now until November 5th if all goes as it seems it will go from here (as in, McCain cruises to the nomination with enough delegates for a first-ballot victory at the Convention). I will speak no ill of McCain and, if I’m to comment at all, will do my best to reserve any such commentary for the Democrats.

In the meanwhile I will say this, it has been suggested that Mitt Romney demonstrate his “new-found” conservative bone-fides by “walking the walk” for the next 4-years. I think that’s a fine suggestion. In fact, to my mind the same goes precisely for John McCain. Let’s see if he’s willing to engage the eventual Democrat nominee and the congressional opposition at least as vigorously as he attacked his primary opponent. Let’s see if he actually follows-through on his promise for “enforcement first”. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Let him, in other words, “walk the walk” for the next 4-years as well.

And, if it should thus come to pass, I will happily return to the GOP Presidential debate (which will hopefully not start until after the 2010 World Series, at least), hat in hand, joyfully consume whatever size portion of batter-dipped, deep-fried crow you would like me to eat, and rejoin the fight.

Do we have an accord?